MAD ABOUT TriBeCa + PAIN

"YOU WILL NEVER INFLUENCE THE WORLD BY BEING JUST LIKE IT" 

Happy February All! Now that we are officially snuggled into 2018, we can enjoy as winter slowly passes and set our minds towards Spring (Hope "springs" eternal, right?!).  I want to say a huge THANK YOU to all the readers for my last blog post, Mad About Being Single!  I received so much positive feedback and encouraging words.  It warmed my heart to have men and women reach out saying my piece helped settle a bit of their stress when it comes to being single! Xo  Scroll below for the next series!  PS. Don't be alarmed, I like a catchy title! ;)

Tiffany Chen, one of my fabulous photographers, and I romped around TriBeCa for this romantic and whimsical shoot on a blistering cold Monday.  I used to live on Canal street... and I would totally tell people it was TriBeCa-no shame!  Haha.  TriBeCa, Triangle Below Canal Street has been a special place in my heart for years because when I went to school at NYU, my parents would visit and we would go to our favorite breakfast place, Bubby's, and hotel, The Roxy, to make wonderful memories.  If you have some time when you visit NYC next, be sure to check out TriBeCa, especially in the summer.  It is filled with gorgeous cobble stoned alley ways, very few people (tourists), and home to some of the best food and restaurants in the city!

Before we head to our series I need to just gush about this Top Hat!  I was visiting my brother in New Orleans, Covington actually, and went antiquing with the family.  While I was exploring one of our favorite stores, I saw it.  This top hat still in its London factory box begging to have a home!  I tried it on, and near perfect fit, which I like because I can tip it back if I want more visual coverage, or way down if it's cold and windy.  This thing keeps you warm because it is made out of beaver fur.  It's very old, has stories and is my favorite item in my closet!  PPS. Have I mentioned I was born in the wrong time period?! :)

NEXT SERIES: Mad About Pain

I know, you are probably thinking is this girl a masochist?!  I assure you I am absolutely not!  I am a baby just like most people when it comes to pain both physically and emotionally.  This series is having an open conversation about pain and how to tackle and overcome strifes and stress.

WORRYING

What is it good for?  If you are anything like me, I was born a worry wart, I worry about tomorrow, today, tonight, next year, what will I say, what will they say, how will this Email go, am I professional enough, am I this or that enough--Everything!  What has gotten me through the toughest times is religion, I turn to a higher power, but not everyone is similar.  I strongly believe that the best most powerful way to tackle worry is to look at it face on and say to yourself, "IT IS OUT OF MY CONTROL."  The bottom line of worrying is: It has not happened yet!  We make up a thousand concoctions of outcomes to situations that we have no ability to decipher.  So what can we do you ask?  Soak in the NOW.  Be patient (I still struggle with this, of course.)  Find your port in the storm: whether it be religion, spirituality, a friend, a mentor, family or a place of solace.  Sometimes changing your environment can improve your outlook.  Also, STAY BUSY!  A watched pot never boils, as they say.  I make lists, lists of what I am thankful for, what I have, what I need and what I want.  When you do this, It becomes obvious what is really important, and that you are actually where you need to be.  Be sure to take baby steps, do not bite off more than you can chew (I am so guilty of this) things take time to become what you want them to be.  

HEARTBREAK

Yeah I know, this one is a doozie.  We've all been there, heart on the floor, next to a bucket of tears and tons of empty tissue boxes.  There's no cure for heartbreak other than, yep, you guessed it: TIME.  And it stinks!  However, there is so much silver lining to every loss and heartbreak whether it be love, friendship or family.  One being, this can be the perfect time for Self Reflection.  Trust me, I realize it is terrifying to "check in" on yourself and do some cleaning around mentally, emotionally and even physically!  Most men say working out helps ease their troubles, I think this is a wonderful outlet, however, I enjoy wallowing in self pity first with Rocky Road Ice Cream.  I encourage you to WRITE ABOUT WHAT HURTS.  It sounds silly right?  No.  It's therapeutic.  It's cathartic.  Any therapist will tell you this helps.  Once you heal, you do not have to store the pain locked up inside because you already "set it free" into the pages and into the ether!  And of course friends, thank God for friends.  My girls and I have a chat group where we send each other silly memes and quotes to help each other get through the day or tough emotional times.  Keeping yourself distracted and lighthearted is medicine for the heart and soul.  MUSIC!  Oh my, how music has literally healed me.  Get out.  Breathe the fresh air, try something new or scary, or jump into someone else's story in a book.  This is the time to expand and be better, not detract and hide.  Remember, YOU ARE LUCKY!  You experienced love. You got to love somebody.  This is a beautiful thing, and embrace that you will love again.  The human heart is elastic-I swear.  You can always hold that person in a corridor in your heart, but close it up for a while, until you are ready to give it closure.  Rome was not built in a day, take solace in that you have beautiful or intense memories that are slowly molding you-up to you who you want to become.  Take this pain and USE IT.

ANGER

Yuck!  That feeling you get in the pit of your stomach screaming: "Why?!"  or  "I cannot believe this!" regarding a person or situation.  You know what I am going to say next?  It's coming straight from Pre-School teacher tool box 101: F O R G I V E.  Ew!  Right?  No, no, no, Alex, I can't forgiiiiiive, I am too upset, too mad, too unforgivable.  I agree it is painful to swallow your pride, no fun, no bueno.  However, something remarkable happens when you Forgive: FREEDOM.  Of course we are human and we all struggle with grudges and sore spots left over from those who have done us wrong.  Letting Go of something super painful and tough to deal with actually helps YOU.  Crazy, I agree.  Let's face it, life's too short.  Every minute really is a blessing and why waste it holding hate in your heart?  Remember when you made a mistake that hurt someone?  No need to point fingers, no need for revenge or the silent treatment.  Talk it out. Write about it. Sing about it, just get it out!  It will be messy, yes.  But life is not meant to be lived in a safe bubble of perfection-that would be epically boring.  The colors that people bring into your life is what shapes you.  Try to find things you love or like about that person, try to see any positive outcomes from a bad situation, glass half full-not empty.  And if after all that, it still is too big of a thing to process... Come To Peace.  Forgive yourself.  <-- The hardest one of them all.  You are valued, you will be better, you will be okay. Xo

THE TAKEAWAY

I hope this series helped you, even a little bit.  Pain is inevitable.  We cannot avoid it, we can try to hide from it, but it will only come back ten times stronger.  Bottling and locking things up deep inside does more harm than good. There is no short cut to healing.  I believe another word for healing is: GROWTH.  When you became taller as a child, lost teeth or learned a hard lesson what was that called?  Growing Up.  I do not mean the Peter Pan growing up, you can have a childlike heart, I know I do.  I am referring to making pain into soil.  Pat it down, and watch something beautiful come out of it.  It may take a while, or a very long while to see positive results, but they will come.  Use pain as fodder and a tool to Create!  Make!  Move!  Put pain into positive action, thus = HEALING.  Instead of being internal, be external.  Volunteer, read to a child, let your pet out, see that there is so much beauty, bliss and opportunity around you that is important, and your pain will subside.  I wish you all the luck and love in the world, it really is going to be alright.